How Selfish Can a Wife be?

Wife has left me for a week. Selfish bism. How do I tell the difference between the washing machine, oven and tumble dryer?? 

Today I have had to cook AND washing up, whereas if I pull a sickie T typically get away with one or the other. AND I have had to do the laundry and also put it out on the line. The wicker basket for laundry ISN'T working and clean clothes don't appear (as per normal) folded in the correct drawer. 

This afternoon, it's a toss up between longer on the hammock in the sun, reading a book and having an ice-cream OR mowing the lawn!! 

Come back dear, I miss you!!